The last few days have been trying to say the least. Both an emotional and physical toll have been taken on our family. On Tuesday, May 1st, exactly one year from the day Jack came home from the hospital (and, subsequently two years from our wedding day), Jack has his one year check up at the pediatrician. He always passes with flying colors and this was the first time he was actually on the growth charts! Sadly, with one year appointments typically come vaccines. This time he was due for his second Hepatitis B, Varicella (Chicken pox), and MMR (Meales Mumps Rubella). In prior iterations of shot visits, we tend to have a fussy boy later in the day which we follow up with some acetaminophen and a nap and he's as good as new. This time, the doctor said we could encounter a fever about five days later. When we got home I was flying high because we had no fussy baby and he was great...for about 3 days, at which time he began not sleeping through the night and being overall fussy. Then, Friday night, he went to bed just fine, and awoke at 11:30pm with a slight fever and was inconsolable. My poor baby!! On Saturday morning he woke up and was just so pathetic! His fever was 101.8 and he was so lethargic. Of course, if you google MMR vaccine and fever, (I would not recommend this for any parents) you find many people who believe there is a link between this and autism. And then I got scared. I thought, I know we made the most informed decision about immunizations and children with the research that is currently available but what if... Seriously, what if...?
That morning, after he went back to sleep and Justin was trying to get any rest possible, I couldn't sleep. I decided it was time to get some work done so I went to Lowe's to get some dirt and get the garden planted. On my way home from the hardware store I started to break down and pleading with God for my son. I was so overwhelmed and then it was just like this instant peace. God gently reminded me that "He had it." He's got it. He's got it all. I realized that, even though I don't understand it, and I don't know how it could possibly be true, God loves my Jack even more than I do. WHAT? NO! Wait, YES! God my father and savior loves my son more than I ever could in ways I don't even understand. I can't even fathom that. But what I do know is that it's true. And if that's the case (which I believe it is), then there's nothing more to do than trust Him.
Did I overreact a bit? Of course. I'm a mother of a one year old boy. It's gonna happen. But the lesson I learned was one that applies regardless of what the situation is.
This morning at church there were pictures throughout the church of children in the Virginia foster system who are in need of families. Justin stayed home with Jack today but I went to church to help check kids in to our children's programs. This mother and her son stepped up to my counter and as I was checking the boy in (about eight years old) he said, "what are those pictures for?" I said, those are kids that need homes and families. He said, "Mom, we need to take care of them!" Then he looked at me and said, "we can take the one with the braces." I almost broke down and cried right then and there. The truth that spews from the mouth of babes...and yet he's right. We need to take care of them!!
Oh baby James, we're coming for you...as soon as we can!
That morning, after he went back to sleep and Justin was trying to get any rest possible, I couldn't sleep. I decided it was time to get some work done so I went to Lowe's to get some dirt and get the garden planted. On my way home from the hardware store I started to break down and pleading with God for my son. I was so overwhelmed and then it was just like this instant peace. God gently reminded me that "He had it." He's got it. He's got it all. I realized that, even though I don't understand it, and I don't know how it could possibly be true, God loves my Jack even more than I do. WHAT? NO! Wait, YES! God my father and savior loves my son more than I ever could in ways I don't even understand. I can't even fathom that. But what I do know is that it's true. And if that's the case (which I believe it is), then there's nothing more to do than trust Him.
Did I overreact a bit? Of course. I'm a mother of a one year old boy. It's gonna happen. But the lesson I learned was one that applies regardless of what the situation is.
This morning at church there were pictures throughout the church of children in the Virginia foster system who are in need of families. Justin stayed home with Jack today but I went to church to help check kids in to our children's programs. This mother and her son stepped up to my counter and as I was checking the boy in (about eight years old) he said, "what are those pictures for?" I said, those are kids that need homes and families. He said, "Mom, we need to take care of them!" Then he looked at me and said, "we can take the one with the braces." I almost broke down and cried right then and there. The truth that spews from the mouth of babes...and yet he's right. We need to take care of them!!
Oh baby James, we're coming for you...as soon as we can!
No comments:
Post a Comment