Wednesday, September 8, 2010

ahh, the first trimester

how can you not love it? any symptom that may make you miserable, that's probably part of the first trimester symptom of pregnancy.

justin hears two things out of my mouth ALL the time: i'm hungry and/or i'm tired.

i am nauseous all the time. yep. all the time. the only thing that makes my nausea go away? eating. thus, i'm hungry all the time. and what i can and can't eat and what sounds good versus what tastes good is the wackiest thing in the world. one day i crave guacamole and want nothing but it (and make justin drive to plaza azteca to get it fresh) and the next day if i even see or smell it it makes me want to throw up. awesome (sense the sarcasm). most days i'm trying to eat healthy but unfortunately, healthy doesn't necessarily equal edible in my current state. maybe the second trimester will be better.

not only am i nauseous all the time, i also can't sleep. sweet. this state of life is awesome (again, sense the tone). everything i've read talks about how tired you are the first trimester and how you are going to sleep all the time. i must be reading the wrong books/articles/webpages and talking to the wrong people cause i can't sleep at all. i want to sleep, don't get me wrong. i am truly tired ALL the time. but it's like when i lay down on the couch or the chaise or in bed something in me clicks that says "wake up!" or "you're uncomfortable" or "you're hungry" or many of the other bizillion messages that run through my head any given day.

needless to say, eating and sleeping suck right now. and that's about all there is to say about this trimester so far.

the background

or as i call it, the temporary lack in judgment. now, justin gets a little upset with me when i use that term about our unborn child and of course i don't think a baby is poor judgment however in the instance of seeing that plus sign, i call it a temporary lack of judgment.

so here's how it went down. i get home from being gone for a week in japan (this should have been our first clue we were not thinking rationally). and off the cuff i say, "let's have a baby." justin's response was not what i anticipated because he instantly said "ok". to my surprise we decided to sit down and have a discussion about it and at the end of the discussion we decided we would try for two months and then stop trying until late winter/early spring. our concern was that of i think many couples...how long will it take us to conceive. for us we had a few major concerns. first off, we are both over thirty. and we are told time and time again how fertility goes down with age and especially over 35. with us knocking on 35's door, we thought we had reason for concern. then, we'd heard all the issues with coming off birth control pills and how it can take many months for your body to readjust after that. finally, i have hypothyroidism and most reports show that if your thyroid isn't regulated, it is very difficult to get pregnant. needless to say, i already had an appointment scheduled with an endocrinologist and my primary care doctor to try and get my thyroid issues under control because i knew mine was out of whack (that's a whole other post that i will spare you from the gory details).

needless to say, all our concerns were truly of no concern. little did we know that about two weeks later we conceived! of course we didn't know it at the time. no, in fact i was convinced i wasn't preggers and because i was convinced, i did things pregnant ladies should not be doing! for instance, busch gardens (including many massive roller coasters), a drink at my birthday party, rides at the state fair, etc., etc. it wasn't until i was two weeks late that i really had any indication that maybe, i could be preggers.

so why do i call it a temp lapse in judgment? well, while in mid-june we had decided to try for two months, about two weeks later we decided that as soon as my cycle started again i would go back on the pill. we thought, maybe now is not the right time. apparently, God had different plans for us. we have no explanation with the odds stacked against us and our first chance since we decided to try there can only be one reason! God! so, here we are. and our little miracle is on its way!!