my view is limited

I have to admit something.  I've heard all the news about adopting without debt.  Shoot, I read the book almost a year ago after we started this journey and we initially faced some adversity when we started support raising.  I just figured that at some point we would have tapped out all our resources and would have to figure out how to come up with a lot of money and truly did not know how that was all going to work.  Now don't get me wrong, we're not there yet.  But what I'm realizing is my view of this process and my God is very limited.

It's not like I haven't trusted him for things before.  It's not like I haven't had to raise support for things or wonder how something was going to work out.  And it always has as long as I was trusting in Him.  So why did I think this was going to be any different?  I'm not sure.  I think I thought that because we made the choice, and this was our baby, the bulk of the money was going to somehow come from our pockets.

Don't get me wrong, we budget a significant amount of money every month to go into our adoption fund and we scrimp and save wherever we can because we DO believe it is our responsibility to do so.  But the outpouring we've had from people over the last twelve months (and counting) has been supernatural. I had in my mind we would write letters, do some fundraisers, and then work extra jobs, go on extra travel, sell every last piece of furniture (although that's difficult with the whole homestudy piece of it) and then, just barely, we'd squeak by.

Like I said, we are not there yet.  And we are still working hard, saving like crazy, doing everything we can....but there's no way people would come out of the woodwork for this for us, we must give credit to  Him.  I mean don't get me wrong, we're great and all (sarcasm people) but people don't write you checks and offer to do things for you and go out of their way to help you like this just because they like you.

We believe so strongly in adoption and specifically that our little boy, James, has always been our son, he just happens to have been born halfway around the world by someone else.  And we are SO BEYOND BLESSED that so many amazing people have chosen to partner with us to help us bring him home.  We can't wait to introduce him to all of you (shoot, who am I kidding, we just can't wait to meet him ourselves!!).

Travel and Treasures

The last time I wrote I was really in a blah place, not to mention I was getting ready to travel overseas (again) for work.  Finally I am back and hope to be a better blogger now that my heavy travel season has subsided.  Sorry about that!

So many good things come out of the trials though.  While I did have to go to Japan for work, my aunt went with me to do some traveling herself (although I posit that it was solely to keep me company).  Either way, it was a huge blessing to not be there alone.  She got to do some exploring when I was at work, we did some exploring together after work and on my last afternoon which I had off, and we got to experience dinner together every night.

Now if you haven't been to Japan, there's one thing about the restaurants there...they almost always have a sampling of their food made out of plastic under glass outside to entice you in.  And boy is it enticing (sense the tone).  I don't mind Japanese food...it's not really what we call hibachi typically, but it's not bad.  And of course, the sushi is good.  But I get very tired of it, very quickly.  There are only so many times I can eat a pork cutlet and not be bored.  Regardless, it was a fun trip.

And besides all the fun of eating in a foreign land, I know that there was a message I needed to learn on this trip.  So many times I have these feelings of urgency to get home to my  little boy.  I feel like I should be home with him all the time and often feel guilty for having a full time job.  I long for the option to be a stay at home mom (with no naivety about what that really entails).  And yet, I gleaned much wisdom from someone I look up to a great deal on this trip.  My aunt has three kids, one just starting college, one just finishing high school, and one just finishing middle school.  So she's been there with having the little kids at home and she's at the kids growing up stage.  Conversation after conversation we had I felt like God was reassuring me that I am right where I'm supposed to be.  Not just with kids, but with how we're working hard to get out of debt asap, how we're working hard to keep our marriage our top priority, how we're working hard to manage our time and resources, and how we're working hard to stay focused on Him.  Juggling all these balls is by no means easy but we know that all things work together for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose!

Part of our talks about kids helped me refocus on the fact that right now, where we are, we have it pretty good with our jobs and child care and life.  And we have been given this opportunity to get out of debt quickly.  And while I wish I could be the one teaching my son every last thing, the experience and the knowledge he's getting right now where he is is awesome!  Anyone can teach a kid how to count and read.  But it's extremely more important that I am available to be home with my kids when they are learning how to make tough choices.  I don't want anyone else teaching them that.  And yes, it does start young, but it's when they get to that middle/high school age that the tougher choices will come.  If we stay on task now, we will be in a position for me to be home for that.  And my flying to Japan or wherever a few times a year is well worth the opportunity to disciple my kids, the most important disciples I will ever make in my life.

Don't worry James, this isn't all about Jack.  We are excited to be in a position to get to have you home soon...hopefully in about 10 months from now!  And you and Jack are our two most valuable treasures we've ever been gifted with.