Many very good friends of mine are expecting babies in 2012 and I have quite the mixed feelings about these amazing miracles. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond excited for them! And I do not envy them as my body is not yet ready for another pregnancy. But I think the difficulty is the gestational period. I know we could get pregnant right now and have a baby ourselves in 2012 but that is not what we have been called to do! Our adoption "gestational period" is closer to 18 months. Sometimes it's difficult to watch people go through the process of having a baby and just sit there and wait for the next step in our process. What helps is knowing we have our amazing little Jack here with us and get the joy of watching him learn and grow everyday. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be unable to get pregnant or have difficulty trying. For all of you out there, know that as I pray through this process I also pray for you!
Anyway, for us, we know that God is using this year to prepare us for whatever the future holds. We don't know what this adoption will bring (hopefully our little James into our arms) or where we will go after this adoption is finalized but what we do know is that we have been given this year to prepare our hearts, our finances, our lives for His future. This reminds me so much of that gestational period. For me pregnancy was not this awesome time. In fact, if you ask Justin, it was a very difficult time. I am usually in control (or have the illusion of control) in my work, my home, etc. With hormones, my changing body, and the impending birth I was completely out of control. And yet I would have never changed the outcome. We are given 9 months(ish) to help prepare us for the change of our lives. And yet we cannot overlook every day of that time. We have been challenged with preparing for the future of our family but at the same time we cannot miss the every day of 2012. We will not have James in our family until 2013 but we cannot miss any day of our 2012 family. Finding that balance is tough but this is what we have been charged with.
As I watch these new babies grow and be born all around me, I know James is either still in his gestational period or just now being born...and I hold on to his every days as we go through ours all while preparing for him to be ours.
Anyway, for us, we know that God is using this year to prepare us for whatever the future holds. We don't know what this adoption will bring (hopefully our little James into our arms) or where we will go after this adoption is finalized but what we do know is that we have been given this year to prepare our hearts, our finances, our lives for His future. This reminds me so much of that gestational period. For me pregnancy was not this awesome time. In fact, if you ask Justin, it was a very difficult time. I am usually in control (or have the illusion of control) in my work, my home, etc. With hormones, my changing body, and the impending birth I was completely out of control. And yet I would have never changed the outcome. We are given 9 months(ish) to help prepare us for the change of our lives. And yet we cannot overlook every day of that time. We have been challenged with preparing for the future of our family but at the same time we cannot miss the every day of 2012. We will not have James in our family until 2013 but we cannot miss any day of our 2012 family. Finding that balance is tough but this is what we have been charged with.
As I watch these new babies grow and be born all around me, I know James is either still in his gestational period or just now being born...and I hold on to his every days as we go through ours all while preparing for him to be ours.
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