Our orientation interview was great and we love our agency and blessed to feel at home and comfortable with Heather, our agency rep. We feel like we have a better grasp on timeline and what things may look like. And for me who grasps at the illusion of control regularly, this gives me some false sense of security. I realize God already knows our timeline and that is where my security must lie...but in the midst of not feeling that I know anything, this helps.
Alas, I am in Bahrain. The more I travel, the easier it gets, but my heart still longs to be home with my boys. I am so thankful I got to skype with them after my arrival but I feel like Jack is getting to that age where he knows I'm gone which is not helping my cause. The other thing that's not helping is that I think he's going through a 6 month growth spurt and teething which makes for an unhappy baby. I am beyond thankful to have an amazing husband who I trust beyond anyone else in the world and know God created to be my lifemate (and I his). This eases the tension of Jack not having his mom there but it still hurts my heart to be gone.
However, in the midst of being away from my boys, I am sensing another type of longing. I am on the same side of the world as my second child. Better yet, I'm in the same time zone!! Distance wise, I am about as close to my baby as we live to Las Vegas...that's just a few short hour plane ride away!! This is the closest I will be to him/her until we leave to go bring him home. And it just makes me want to go right now. This could be a slight problem of course given the fact that the age of our baby when we adopt could be about 12 months, and we're about 15-18 months away from actually going to get our child, so realistically, my baby's birth mom is most likely pregnant right now. That is such a weird thought. It draws me to her and I just pray that she is well, eating as best as she can, sleeping as well as any pregnant woman can, and that the heaviness of her heart, knowing her child will not be with her for her life, will be put at ease. I pray that she will have a peace come over her knowing that someone, some family, is so excited to know that their baby is in the womb being woven together to make their family a more complete picture. I can't imagine what it must be like to not have your child with you for your life but I pray that for her she can know that we will love and raise that baby no differently than we do our beautiful Jack.
I have been reading the blog of some new found friends (who ironically enough, live near Raleigh) who are in Uganda right now waiting to bring home their little girl. Their story is amazing to read and gives me such excitement and hope that the time will be here before we know it!! In the meantime, I will wait on the Lord! And this week, I will wait in the same timezone as our little baby :)
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