A Wales of a tale!

We have embraced life here in the UK which includes the festival mentality.  Many Brits I know have never been to the continent but they have been to a festival!!

What we haven't embraced is NOT traveling around Europe and the UK. One of the things we love dearly is being so close to so many awesome places, both here and there!!  Last year, our big summer trip was to Ireland and it.was.awesome.  Earlier this year, we went to Uganda (wondering now why I didn't post about that but maybe I'll go back to it later?) so that was our big trip for the year.

We had zero intention of going anywhere this summer, except a family festival, which we did in July.  It was a beautiful time for our family together at Naturally Supernatural with our extended church family.  My husband loved it so much he went to go work at another two Soul Survivor festivals.  However, given the make up of our family, if he was to be gone for 2 weeks, then we needed childcare!  My parents graciously flew from the States to hang out with our kids and shuttle them to swimming and on adventures.  Since they've only really experienced the city with us, I decided we should steal away for the bank holiday weekend and go on an adventure (sans, my husband).

This last weekend, we packed up the minivan and, despite it not starting when we were all in the car and ready to go, only a 2 hour delay hindered the trip and we were off and running!  We drove most of the M4 and in a short 2 hours, we were in beautiful Wales!  Our destination was near the area of Tenby, Wales in Pembrokeshire which is in the far southwest corner of Wales.  But for the last year, the boys have been asking to go to the seaside and I'm not one to want to disappoint!

I booked us in to a little cottage in a place called St Florence.  It's a quaint little town about 10 minutes (or less) outside Tenby and to be honest, I'm glad we were a bit away.  Since it was a holiday weekend, the town was bursting with people but my little crew needs their rest so being a bit outside and making sure we all got our sleep was vital!!  We stayed in a place called Ivy Tower Village Cottages which can be booked through multiple sites, but our specific one was the Corn Store booked on AirBnB.  It's a grouping of 15ish townhome like cottages in a peaceful setting that has a little indoor pool, gym, sauna, ping pong table, tennis court, play area, and mini golf course.  The cottage was just what we needed.  Nothing spectacular about the set up or furnishings but absolutely perfect.  Ours was 3 bedroom/1 bath (you could find some with more/less), a full kitchen and a nice little conservatory to eat in.  It came with beach chairs, golf clubs/balls for the mini golf, some sports balls, and a drying rack for all those wet swimsuits!  Oh, and did I mention pets are more than welcome?

The first night in Wales, we got in, got settled, and let the boys have a swim straight away.  Four hours in the car and they needed to get rid of some energy!  We all had a lovely time in the pool and then we got ourselves together and headed into Tenby to check out the town.  It is so beautiful!  The stone walls, forts, restaurants, and beaches, make this little fishing village one of much character!  Parking was not a problem as there were multiple lots and multi-story car parks that are so reasonably priced and very nearby the main area!  We ate and then had a stroll on beach where the boys explored some caves in the rock cliffs.  We meandered back to our car and headed back to St Florence for a restful night of sleep.

The full day we had there we decided to spend on the beach.  We left the cottage at 9am and headed to the Tenby South Beach Car Park which is right on the edge of the beach with no stairs or cliffs to navigate.  Parking for a full day there was only £3.50. We lugged our cooler and chairs and beach tent out to the massive, beautiful beaches of South Tenby and got ourselves settled before the lifeguards had even arrived.  We were practically the only ones on the beach and, despite it being a bank holiday weekend and a beautiful day, it was like this until 11am!  Even when it did fill up, it didn't feel crowded because of the expanse of the sand!  And unlike most British beaches, we actually had mostly sand with a little bit of pebbles instead of the other way around! That evening, we headed back to our cottage and the boys had yet another swim.  We made tacos for dinner and crashed after a long day of sun and surf.

The following (and our final) day, we had to check out by 10am but the pool opened at 9 and we had yet to check out the mini golf on site!  The boys headed out around half 8 to hit up the mini golf and then abandoned ship as soon as the clock struck 9.  This was the prime time to get the car packed and any last minute necessities ready for check out!  They were back by half 9, everyone changed and we were in the car a few minutes before 10.  Thankfully, Carew Castle was a mere 7 minutes away and it opens at 10 so we were there soon after the doors were unbolted.

The castle was a spectacular sight and there were so many things for little boys (and girls) to love.  There was a knight school (no, they didn't flunk out of day school) where they learned how to properly sword fight, they did archery (with real bows and arrows as Jack said) and watched a falconry demo.  There were other activities like painting a crest, learning calligraphy, and playing court jester games, we just didn't have the time to partake in any of those.  We loved going up the stone steps to the different levels and imagining life as we stood amongst the ruins.  I was very impressed with our little miss who was only a year old last summer when we explored all the Irish castles but this year was right behind her brothers up and down the steep spiral staircases!  With a little cafe and a long walk around the tidal mill (and an actual mill to explore) we literally could have been there all day!  There was something for everyone and I have to say from ages 2 to 68, we all really loved it.

But alas, it was time to get back in the car. Mummy had to go to work on Tuesday and life needed some sense of normalcy again.  So we set off, praying for traffic to not be miserable and it took us just about 4 hours of driving to get home again with the only real traffic being back near London on the M25.

Amazing time in Wales!  Highly recommend it for a long weekend trip!!

The Ultimate Ireland Road Trip - Southern half

We had an amazing holiday in Ireland and I've had so many people ask me for our itinerary.  So here is the breakdown of our trip for those looking to experience one of their own!

The background:  we have a US fitted Honda Odyssey minivan and there were 4 adults, two 5 year olds, and a one year old on our trip.

The food:  I'll give you the info on where we ate as I talk through the itinerary.  We booked B&B's with breakfast intentionally, took our own peanut butter, jelly, nutella, and bread for our daily lunch to reduce down our eating out budget, and ate out for dinner of the evenings.

On 22 July, we set off in the evening to try and miss traffic on the M40 and the M1.  We drove to Holyhead, Wales and stayed at Witchingham B&B which was right near the port and let us check in later in the evening.  They had a self serve breakfast and was a very comfortable place to be for the quick night we had.  The only thing we would have changed was to try and leave a bit earlier because the drive through Wales was amazing and we only caught a bit as it was late when we arrived.  But the sunset along the north coast was fab.

The morning of 23 July, we set off early to grab the ferry from Holyhead to Dublin.  We had booked in advance through Irish Ferries as they had a sale this past spring and we saved 25% by waiting on the sale.  We were onboard the ship Epsilon and let me give you this tidbit of advice.  When you park your car and everyone goes inside, it feels like you HAVE to sit at these tables and chairs in the restaurant or the lounge.  However, if you go up one deck, there's a little room just off the stairs that is full of reclining seats.  It's much more comfortable, they have a television, and is right by the toilets.  People think this place is something you have to pay extra for because it almost feels like it should be, but it's a little gem we found and made the 3.5 hour trip sane for us and the kids!

Once landing in Dublin, we drove off into the sunset (or the midday rain?) and headed directly across the country to Lisdoonvarna where we checked into the Cannville B&B for the night (approx 3hrs 10 min).  It was really out in the middle of nowhere but a close drive to the cute village area of Lisdoonvarna or a 10 minute drive from Doolin.  We went to dinner in Doolin at Fitzpatrick's Pub where they have live Irish music and Doolin beer (delish).  The B&B was quaint but nice.  We had an absolutely amazing sunset and because we were in the middle of nowhere, we had great pictures of the countryside.  The B&B had 3 breakfast options including full Irish breakfast, yogurt and fruit, or pancakes.  Most of us had the Irish breakfast and everything we had was lovely!

On 24 July we awoke to a lot of rain and fog and were pretty bummed as we intended to head straight to the Cliffs of Moher.  We had purchased our tickets in advance to receive the online discount and they are not tied to a day so I highly recommend this!  The whole drive there (15 minutes max), we were praying for the fog to lift but as we parked it was not looking good.  We went into the visitors center to look around and, within 15 minutes the ceiling was lifting and we were starting to see some blue in the sky.  We hiked up the cliffs and enjoyed a beautiful morning there.  I highly recommend getting there early as the crowds get a little crazy midday (this is part of the reason we drove in the afternoons, along with giving my kids a chance to nap as we drove).

After a few hours at the cliff, we made our daily sandwiches and got in the car to head south.  We drove about 3 hours, 10 min to the Dingle Peninsula, specifically to Inch Beach.  We stayed in a dorm style room (6 bunk beds and the baby cot) at a place called The Strand (no ensuite toilets for this place but it wasn't bad for one night).  For the money, it was great!  The location was perfect with gorgeous views of the beach.  We spent the afternoon/evening on the beach with the kids freezing in the water.  That night we had dinner in the hotel restaurant as they give a 10% discount to those staying.  Decent food, good beer, what's not to like.  And we didn't have to go anywhere else!

The morning of the 25th we awoke and had another Irish breakfast at The Strand (included) along with some continental options that were also good.  Our friends traveling with us did a morning surf lesson and the boys spent the morning on the beach.  We got a late checkout so everyone could get cleaned up before we got in the car again.  This was really a good option because our drive this day was only about 45 minutes to get down to Killarney for our next adventure.

Because it was a short drive (although Justin's favorite due to the scenery and winding roads), we arrived in Killarney before we could check into our next B&B.  So this time, we headed straight to the Ring of Kerry and into the national forest.  We went to the Torc Waterfall where we could climb on the rocks and see the beauty of the falls and the forest.  The walk to the falls is short and not treacherous so you can really just park and run up for a quick look or go for a long hike, whichever you're up for.  We didn't do the long hike but instead took time to just throw rocks in the water and climb the rocks.  From the waterfall, we headed back toward Killkenny, stopping at Muckross Abbey.  It was so cool (this may have been my favorite part).  The abbey is in ruins but you can still go to the different levels and check out all the staircases and rooms.  From the abbey, we headed to our B&B in Killarney, Countess House.  This was probably our favorite traditional B&B as the rooms were nice, breakfast was great, and the host was lovely.  It's also walking distance from town so we could just walk in to dinner where we enjoyed awesome food at Mac's of Main Street.   Killarney is pretty touristy but it also has a pretty cool vibe.  We enjoyed our time there both in the national park and in the town.

Yet another great breakfast on the 26th at Countess House and we set off on our way.  We started by heading to Ross Castle which was about 5 minutes away in Killarney.  The castle is cool from the outside but to go inside you have to sign up for a guided tour.  We chose not to take the tour based on timing and price and the fact that we were about to see a few other castles over coming days.  So we looked  to Kilkenny, by way of Cork.  It took us less than 90 minutes to get to the Blarney Castle in Cork and again, the drive was beautiful.  We got onto the castle grounds right away and found that we  probably could have spent the whole day there exploring the castle and gardens.  We did enjoy our time kissing the Blarney stone and exploring the gardens and then loaded up the car to continue on to Kilkenny for the night.

It took us right about 2 hours to arrive at Fanad House, our lodging for the night in Kilkenny.  It was located directly across from the Kilkenny Castle grounds and easy walking distance to the High st area.  However, by the time we got there, most things in the center of town were closed and we ate a bit of a random place called Ripley's Steak House.  It was good for families and the food was good for what we needed, especially given that we were all pretty ravenous by the time we got there.  We tried another place first and they made it quite clear they did not welcome our large family there so Ripley's was perfect for us.  Plus, it was right on Butterslip Lane which is something we wanted to see anyway.  We headed back to the B&B for the night and had a restful sleep in a very comfortable place (a close second to Countess).

The following morning (27 July) we, once again, enjoyed an Irish breakfast, but other options were available and quite delicious.  We set off into Kilkenny to see the castle and a short walk around the town but this was probably our least favorite place to visit.  The castle is cool but it has been restored back to what they think it was so it feels more like Windsor castle instead of a castle like Blarney and Ross (i.e. more in a finished state than looking like a ruin).  We finished our time in Kilkenny with our homemade lunches, loaded up the car, and set off for our final destination...Dublin.

We arrived in Dublin around 2pm and met up with our AirBnB guy, Paul.  Our flat was called Whiskey Corner and was literally in the old Jameson Distillery.  It.was.awesome.  The guy was a great host and got us set up in the flat and with parking quickly.  The place is right in the Smithfield area with a grocery store, pharmacy, and all kinds of restaurants.  It was walking distance to everything we wanted to see in Dublin and also very close to public transit.  But, it was far enough from Temple Bar and those areas that it wasn't too noisy at night with the windows open.

Our friends and Justin were interested in the Jameson Master Class they give at the distillery so they signed up and went straight away to the 4pm class.  After 1.5 hours of learning how whiskey was made and tasting the differences, we were all ready for dinner.  We headed out to a place called My Meat Wagon which I HIGHLY recommend.  Lots of, well, meat!!  AND an old school NES with Duck Hunt and Super Mario to play while you hang out.  Great food, good beer, and a relaxed atmosphere.  We were so stuffed after dinner that we headed back and crashed at the flat.

The morning of 28 July, we started the morning off with, no, not an Irish breakfast, but some quick food and coffee from a nice little cafe called Third Space.  We had booked tickets for the Guiness Storehouse tour well in advance to make sure we got the time we wanted as early and advanced bookings online provide some decent discounts.  We walked from the flat to Guiness and started our tour promptly at 10am.  It took us about an hour and a half to get through and we ended with the obligatory beer in the Gravity Bar with gorgeous views of the city.

It was a little late for lunch and the troops were restless so for the same price we would have paid for public transit, we cabbed it to Temple Bar.  Quick, uneventful lunch at a place I can't even remember the name of, and we strolled around the Temple Bar area and took pictures on the Ha'penny bridge.  At this point, half our crew (i.e. the kid half and a grown up), headed back to the flat for nap time.  The other half walked to Trinity College to check out the Book of Kells and their amazing library!  We all met back up for dinner at The Brazen Head, the oldest pub in Ireland!

The week had taken its toll on us and the kids and we were not resting well.  We intended on putzing about of the morning but instead, we took the morning of 29 July to relax, have breakfast, pack up, and clean up in the flat.  Our ferry was to leave at 2:45pm and we had to be there early to get checked in and loaded onboard.  We at lunch at a little shop near the flat called Christophe's which had nice little salads and sandwiches.  It was time to head to the ferry and get onboard.  Thankfully, we were on the same ship again and knew to go straight to the reclining chairs.  We settled in for the 3.5 hour trip and had our last set of PB&Js.

Arriving back in Wales around 6pm, we set off for the 4.5 hour drive home.  We, thankfully, didn't have much traffic and, other than the screaming baby in our car, it was a fairly uneventful ride.  We arrived home at 10:30pm.

As you can see, this itinerary was perfect for us but the route and lodging options could really work for anyone!  What you choose to do at the different locations could be tailored to your desires and groups intentions!  If you're coming from a country other than the UK, it's easy enough to fly directly into Dublin, rent a car, and take off from there!  Remember that they drive on the left side of the road in Ireland, roads are narrow (our minivan is HUGE there), and knowing the road signs, speeds in km, and how to tackle roundabouts is vital...but it's completely doable and actually a great part of the trip!

Mileage
Home to Holyhead: 270 miles
Dublin port to Cliffs of Moher:  162 miles
Cliffs of Moher to Inch Beach:  127 miles
Inch Beach to Killarney: 26 miles
Killarney to Blarney Castle:  47 miles
Blarney Castle to Kilkenny:  100 miles
Kilkenny to Dublin: 80 miles
Holyhead to Home: 270 miles
Miles in and around each location:  30 miles

Total Ireland Transit Miles: 572
Total Miles: 1112

Get your passports ready!

I cannot even begin to tell you how long I have waited to write this blog post.  The last 8 months have been a true test of our trust in our marriage, in our family, and in our God.  This is quite an in-depth story but I promise to keep it as short as possible.  But here it is, the BLUF...the Morgans are moving to London!  Yes, you read that correctly, we are heading across the pond for a few years!

It all began last summer when we knew something was changing.  Our contentment with where we were was wavering and we prayed frivolously for what that meant or looked like.  Justin spent time in Uganda in August (2014) and when he came home, we started to feel a call elsewhere, Uganda being one possibility.  Soon after, I caught wind of a job opportunity for me in London.  All the while, Justin had been feeling a tug on his heart to go get his PhD.  All these things, all these different directions, where in the world were we going to go?  So we did the only thing we could do...we started praying and pushing on doors.  We knew that some doors would ultimately close and others would be opened and we decided we would just walk through whatever opened for us.

In September, we began talking to some friends in Uganda about a possible move there, Justin began applying for PhD programs, and I waited patiently (not really) for the London job to open up for me to apply.  In the meantime, we both continued in our jobs.  At that time, I was certain that Uganda was the right place for our family.  I traveled as usual for work, found out we were going to have a baby, and the boys continued in school.  Come January, I had the opportunity to go back to Uganda for a visit and to see more of what it would look like for us to be there.  It was such an amazing trip and yet there was something in me that wasn't certain our family was ready for that at this point in time.  We had had some set backs with our little man and I was very fearful of what taking him back to Uganda indefinitely would do to his little self.  A short time after I came home, we still didn't feel clear on Uganda, the job req still wasn't open, and Justin had heard from zero schools, one way or the other.  And I was pretty done (not to mention 20 weeks pregnant).  So we decided to fast.

It was a crazy, difficult, amazing week but by the end of it, we definitely had some clarity.  In that time we heard back from schools Justin had applied to, I got an interview for the job, and we felt a peace about Uganda.  By Friday we knew that London was our first choice and UW Madison was our second choice (Justin had received his acceptance letter earlier in the week).  They were both amazing choices and we were happy with both options but the rest was up to me getting the job in London.

There are so many more details in the weeds of this story and if you want to have coffee or a Skype date sometime, I'd love to share them!!  Suffice to say, I have received a job offer for the job in London and our family will be moving in August to live in the UK for the next 3-5 years!!

It is scary and exciting and the timing seems nutso!  This summer we will have a baby, sell our house, move to the UK, start a new job, so.many.new.things!!  We are not naive that we have a tough transition ahead of us but we're so excited for the adventure and the opportunity for our family!  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we move into this new phase and stay tuned for the craziness that is moving your family of five across the world! 

Visiting the village...by guest blogger, Kayla Cervenka

I promised you a guest post and here it is!!  I love the idea of sharing our thoughts and fears with each other and adore this woman and her heart.  She has been in Uganda for about two weeks now and will be staying for about 4 and a half months doing an internship with Sole Hope.  This post is from the day we did resettlement and it was quite an experience!  Can't wait for you to enjoy it from her perspective...

It was my first time ever visiting a village in Uganda. I was really excited for this new experience but also a little unsure as people kept telling me it would be a long trip there.  I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. All I knew was that I was so excited that these children who had been living at the Outreach house were finally able to be resettled with their families! These children who came to Sole Hope, severely affected by jiggers, are now jigger free and full of hope! It is a beautiful transformation to see and it is why resettlement is such an exciting part of what Sole Hope does.

We loaded up the van and headed out towards the village.  There were 21 adults and children, and three babies in the van so it was quite a tight fit. I‘ve come to realize that this is quite typical for Uganda, so I just went along with it as a tiny one-month-old baby slept in my lap.

Eventually we went from pavement to red dirt roads and the ride got a little bumpier. We headed into Kamuli and along the way we dropped some people off while others hopped into the car. I was quite confused as random people kept coming in the car and at one point there were 25 of us all crammed into the van. Once again, I didn’t ask questions but just went along with it because hey, this is normal (I think)! As we headed further into the different villages children would wave and yell “Muzungu!” There was lots of smiling and waving out the van window and we passed the children. When it came time to drop off a few of the kids being resettled, we would pull over to the side and they would hop out. Before the children could even get out of the van there was already a crowd of children from the village gathered together outside our van. They would all just stare at us, eyes wide full of wonder. Many of them would wave and smile, occasionally saying something in Lusoga. It’s funny to me. There is often a language barrier, which can be hard, but I find it so beautiful that people can still radiate joy and love to one another without even a single word.  There was so much staring, smiling and giggling between one another as we passed through the villages. My mouth hurt from smiling so much but my heart was filled with so much joy!

We kept on bouncing along the bumpy red dirt roads, dropping children off along the way to their respective villages.  As we dropped of one of the children for resettlement, I got out of the van and there was a little girl staring at me. Her beautiful brown eyes looked interested yet terrified at the same time. I held my hand out and smiled, reassuring her that I wasn’t going to hurt her. As I slowly walked towards her she sprinted in the other direction and hid behind her mom. She was scared of me. I was foreign to her. She had never seen a white person. I was slightly in shock. What would it be like to never have seen someone that looked so differently than yourself? I realized it must have been like looking at a monster of some sort. Her mom reassured her that I was okay and with the help of her mother, the little girl slowly walked towards me, still looking quite unsure. I kept smiling
with my arm outstretched reassuring her that it was okay, even though she could not understand a word I was saying. She finally grabbed my hand and timidly said hello in Lusoga as she bowed down.  Bowing is a sign of respect around here, and as she knelt to the ground I stopped down beside her. As we knelt there, hand in hand, I couldn’t help but become flooded with emotion. This precious little girl has never seen a world beyond what she already knows. Her village, her people, only her own skin color. But here we were, from seemingly two different worlds, hand in hand, kneeling on the red dirt together speaking our own languages.  Yet even still, there was such a beautiful connection between us in that moment.

I loved my first experience of visiting the villages. It was all new to me and I loved getting to soak it all in. From seeing children return to their families, to experiencing a little girl’s courage overcome her fear, to simply being packed into a van with 25 people, it was an experience I will never forget.

Treasuring all these things

I promise you that it's coming.  I know you're dying to hear all the things I've promised to share.  My friends here and I have really tried to spend the last few days/evenings just being here together.  I had wonderful dinners with Sharon (our babies home director) that was much needed "us" time we haven't had since we hung out in Kampala before I left last time.  The whole Collie clan came over to share dinner with us last night and it reminded me so vividly of the full guest house we had during our adoption.  And the interns, I can't even begin to tell you how amazing these women are.  So grateful to have gotten to share this short piece of life with them.

Kayla, one of the interns, really is going to do a guest blog post for me about her first village experience the day we did resettlements for Sole Hope.  But I promise you, the time we've been spending in the moment has been so valuable that it had to be delayed for a day or two.

I also know there are many of you who have asked and wondered how our visit to our son's village went.  It was amazing.  I feel overjoyed with the experience.  And I do have things to share...some things.  Because even though this was my trip and my experience, it is still apart of our son's story.  And as you know, I am very cautious about sharing his story as it is not mine to share.

I won't get to the highlights now.  Maybe I'll write on the plane ride home (I can't believe I leave in less than 12 hours)!  But I came across this gem this morning while reading and this is exactly where I am with this story and these experiences.

Regardless of how you feel about the Bible, there are many lessons that can be learned.  I am taking a lesson from Mary this morning.  We don't hear much directly from Mary and I wonder if she realized she was just the protector of her son's story.  Entrusted with the pieces of the puzzle but not the one to put them together.  She knew he had to tell it in his own time, when he was ready.  In Luke 2, we see the story of Jesus' birth and specifically, in Luke 2:15, the shepherds had just been told about it by the angels, so they "hurried off and found Mary and Joseph and the baby..."  The shepherds went about telling the world what they'd seen but Mary's response was different.  In vs 19 it says, "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."

Oh I can relate to that.  So many tidbits of information that I have received these two weeks, expanding on my son's story.  So many treasures I want to share with him.  And yet, if I share my experiences with you in whole, I have nothing left that is his.

Take heart, I promise to share some.  I do have some hilarious conversations with the infamous village chairman who we encountered for the first time whilst in court 16 months ago.  And other tidbits that are mine to share.  But for today, for now, this big story I will treasure up all these things and ponder them in my heart.

Our family's village

I’m not sure why but man am I nervous today.  Restless sleep last night and longing to touch base with Justin this morning for reassurance.  I did have an awesome quiet time and reading what my peeps from bible study are reading back at home.  Miss you guys!

The reality is, it’s not like anything bad can happen today.  If anything, I am further paving the way to a future relationship between my Jonah and his biological family.  It’s kind of ironic.  One of the hesitations I had about domestic adoption was the horror stories I’ve heard of bio family interaction and we were concerned that if we adopted multiple times it would impact all our children, bio and adopted.  And yet here we are, reaching deep into the villages of Uganda to extend a hand, to love, to open a connection.  Oh, did I mention that, while not previously planned, my friend made it happen with little effort for me to go to Jonah's village and eat with his family?  Yeah, crazy!

Today, I will meet two of Jonah’s biological brothers for the first time.  I have seen their pictures and we have communicated through the babies home of their school status but that is the extent.  I met Jonah’s bio father twice, once in court, and once at the embassy appointment but with the language barrier, we did not communicate much.  Not to mention, at that place and time, I was so focused on getting Jonah home that I was less concerned with where we went in the future.

But here we are, in the future.  You know me, if I have a question, I will research it into the ground.  A little before we left and a ton since weve been home, I have been researching adoptees and when/how they figure out who they are.  So many people think that our child should feel so lucky that we brought him out of an orphanage and to America and wow how could he feel anything but grateful.  But that is very errant thinking.  Yes, Jonah is blessed to have a family who loves him.  We are just as blessed to have him as our child and to be Jack’s brother.  But the reality is, there’s a whole family that was left behind.  A whole family who looks like him, who spoke his language, who, despite being in a rough situation, still loves him.  (**If you’re in an adoption circle, please don’t read this and judge us and ask us why our child did not get resettled.  I do not owe you my son’s story, but I can assure you we exhausted every option before pursuing his IA. **)  It was not an option for Jonah to be in that or any of his other extended families homes, but that does not mean they will not always share a connection.  And from what I've read, that is a huge struggle for adoptees…connection.  Connection to people who look like you, to people who talk like you, to people who understand your culture and knowing where you came from.  How many Americans do all this research on ancestry?  Shoot, we have like 3 television shows about it!!  But we just expect our adoptees to be ok without knowing and in addition tell them they should feel grateful. 

Enough soapbox.  We are doing what we can about it.  I will not give you the specifics of how our family is working with the biological family but our primary focus are Jonah’s older brothers that were not put in the same position he was in and thus remain in the home.  And today, I get to meet them in person!!  Today I get to look into one teenagers eyes that looks strikingly similar to my little boy.  I cannot promise I will not cry.  For us adoption is more than just our son but he story, his family, his blood.  That means his brother, while he may be my son, is my family.  I want Jonah to know his homeland, his culture, his people.  I love it so much, I want him to have that opportunity as well.  He will choose what his relationship with his biological family looks like but we will give him every chance to know them and have consistent interaction as he desires and we will walk through those decisions with him as he grows and gets to a place to be able to make them.

SO, I’m going out of order a little bit because yesterday we, the two Sole Hope interns (who have been gracious enough to let this old woman hang out with them for the last week) and I, went to a village to do resettlement of the children who have been at the Sole Hope outreach house healing from their significant jigger removal.  I wanted to tell you about it but I’ve asked one of the interns to give you her experience because 1) she’s awesome and has a huge heart for helping people, 2) she’s from Illinois so she has to be great, 3) this was her first time in any village so she will give you more of that perspective while I love, and 4) she is a very artistic, creative, beautiful person and I can’t wait to see her post!  Her name is Kayla so stand by for pure awesomeness.  Then I will come back and let you know how the visit went!

Thursday is my last full day here and we will be doing the weekly jigger removal clinic.  Friday afternoon my friend Brian will be picking me up to runs some errands in Kampala and take me to the airport!  I can’t believe how fast the time goes.  Obviously I’m ready to see my boys but I am at such peace here.  Love to all of you!

A quick (awesome) story...

I intended to tell you this story when I arrived but it's been lost in the shuffle.  Only tonight did I realize how crazy the connections get when you get into this Uganda world!

As you may have heard, I ended up being on a flight from Amsterdam to Entebbe with a woman I have been facebook friends with for a while but haven't gotten to meet in person.  She posted about a month ago when she was coming and where she was flying through and I realized we were going to be traveling that stretch together!  It was so cool to actually meet in person and she had a team of 4 total including this awesome lady named Amber so I got to meet their whole team!

So we're talking in Amsterdam, fly to Uganda, and they are helping me so much gather my baggage since I was traveling alone.  As I'm loading one of my 70lb-ers onto the cart my friend, Brandi said, "Hey, where did you get that bracelet?"  I said, "Oh man, I love this so much.  I found it on Etsy and ordered it for myself for my husband to put in my stocking at Christmas.  And the cool part is, it even came neatly wrapped so all I had to do was literally put it in my stocking."

Brandi said, "Um, yeah so Amber made that."  SAY WHAT?  Yes, Amber, the girl I just met in Amsterdam, the girl traveling with Brandi to go to Uganda to teach women how to stamp leather to make stuff to sell and support their families...that Amber, she's the one I bought the bracelet from that I found on Etsy and bought for myself for Christmas.  SO crazy.

Seriously though, you should check this out.  The bracelets they stamp this week they will be selling and Amber sells some other awesome ones (like the one I bought) on there too!  Not to mention what a great way to support mamas and families around the world!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/VillageLoveCo

Jigger Digger

Ok, so not me.  I mean, I didn't actually remove any jiggers myself.  That is mostly Ugandans and a few Muzungus (white people) that do that.  But I did serve at the clinic today (sounds like I stayed at a holiday inn last night).  If you've been around me at all, you know of our love for Sole Hope and their mission in Uganda.  While non-profits seem to be a dime a dozen here, there is no other like theirs.

Weekly, they go into a village and conduct a jigger removal clinic.  Today, I was blessed to be a part of it.  I met two new friends, Vicky, an ex-pat who lives here with her family who started an organization to teach business locally and Nick, one of the founders of The Archibald Project, a media mission organization who, in which he and his wife make beautiful art to share the plight of orphan care.  Then there was Dru, myself, and a handful of Ugandans that set out this morning at 9:30 am (ok it was supposed to be then but we’re on Ugandan time so it was more like 10:30).  The setup is like a well-oiled machine.  Intake person (Ugandan) talks to the kids and checks them in.  Then they get in queue to have their feet washed.  Today, this was the Muzungu’s job.  Vicky and I (and Nick for a few) jumped right in and got our hands dirty.  And it felt like I washed a hundred feet today.  Then the children are carried from the washing station to the removal station where 6-8 Ugandans literally dug in and removed hundreds of jiggers today, about a hundred alone in that one child of which I posted a picture.  Once they’re finished getting treated, the children (and adults as well) are carried to the shoe fitting station where someone sizes the shoes and gives them to the child.  Of course there are stickers and sweeties (candy/suckers) galore to keep the children content during this rigorous process.  The hope is, once the child is jigger free and has shoes, they will remain that way and not be affected by these debilitating insects.

I am always so thankful to be a part of experiences like this.  Is never ceases to amaze me how much of a bubble we live in and how many luxuries we are afforded.  It sounds so silly but even here, staying at this beautiful guest house with a dairy right down the street (can you say fresh milk and ice cream from jersey cows), an amazing cook for the organization (Mary just opened her own Mexican restaurant in town), and very hard working people who daily sacrifice to love and care for people in need.  I am humbled to be in their presence.

One of these such people is a social worker, Adam, who now works for Sole Hope but used to work for the babies home from where we adopted.  I am always thankful for conversations with him and for his amazing work ethic and moral standard.  As an adoptive mom, especially in international adoption, you hear a LOT about unethical cases, children who bribes were paid for, whose families were lied to, etc.  You may read that and be appalled but you would be amazed at the number of organizations for which this is the standard.  After coming home with our Jonah there are times when I would go back and comb through paperwork and go over conversations in my head.  I’d chase facts down rabbit holes and annoy the crap out of my husband doing so.  I always just wanted to make sure that we didn't miss anything.  That poverty wasn't the only reason Jonah was with us.  That there were really no such family members, extended or immediate, that could care for Jonah in his home country amidst his culture.

I didn't write yesterday because, while I got to go to the outreach house and have some great nap and alone time, the highlight of my yesterday was my conversation with Adam.  We started discussing our case and some other issues he is working right now and how we had some similar and difficult experiences that he is currently dealing with.  As I have stated before, I will not be sharing details of our case publicly as these things make up Jonah’s story and they will be his to share when he is ready, but the point is not about Jonah’s story, the point is about the great sense of peace I received.  I had no reason to question him and the ONLY reason we worked with our babies home is because we did our research and trusted the director and our lawyer completely (and they have now become our dear friends).  But even still, you begin to wonder.  Adam recounted different aspects of our story and I loved that every detail was just right, just the same as it has always been.  After a year and a half, I know there would be no way he could have carried untruths.  In addition, I found out some other cool details of the extended family that I have captured in the journal I have been writing to Jonah to try and catch anything we possibly can of his origins.  What a gem.  And to know that this man is disgusted by some of the inner workings of other organizations and frustrations with the process, it is completely in alignment with what I would be searching for in an ethical adoption.  I slept so calmly last night having even more peace about our story and Jonah’s placement.  I am so thankful for these amazing people who love these kids and want to do the best for them, even if that means someone like a prospective adoptive parent is hurt in the process.

My thought of the trip has seemed to focus on freedom.  What does it mean to be free?  I wonder what your thoughts are on this question.  I’d love to hear!

Traveling Mercies

I’m here, I’m here! Be still my heart!

I could not have asked for a smoother trip with so many traveling mercies.  Because the flight was significantly cheaper, I drove to Dulles to catch my flight.  While the drive was rainy, I-95 was unusually sparse and I had time to make a quick stop at Ikea on the way J  Once I was loading the van, a super nice man came and helped me with two bigger boxes I had.  So awesome.

Then I was off to Dulles.  Because I had 3 bags that each weighed 70lbs but had planned on parking further away due to cost, I figured I’d go drop off the bags in short term parking and then get settled in with just me and my carry-ons.  I knew my bags were going to cost a lot but with the help of some awesome donors, I had offset that cost a bit.  I had called Delta the night before I left to ask them exactly what I was going to pay and they said since it was technically a KLM flight and I was technically checking in at the KLM counter, it was going to be based on their rates…so a sum total of $500.  YIKES!!  I didn’t freak out.  I stayed calm.  I figured we could get some more donations when I got back or something and it would all work out fine.  So I get to the short term parking lot, there was a cart right next to my car (woo hoo) and I lug the massive 210lbs to the terminal.  I’m not sure if it’s because I opened with “I’m Sky Priority, I’m in Economy, I have 3 bags, and every one of them is overweight” followed by handing him my credit card, or because I may have mentioned that one entire bag was all baby formula…regardless, instead of the $100 for each bag and the $300 for the extra and overweight third he only charged me $75 each for a total of $225 (which was already fully covered by donations)!!  I was stunned but acted cool (probably not really) and went to get to the cheap parking lot!

I get back to the airport and into the security line.  Unfortunately, my normal TSA Pre-Check was a no-go because I was traveling on a foreign carrier (I get way too spoiled with travel perks) so I head in line with the rest of the herd.  My liquids are out as they’re supposed to be but as soon as they go through the woman scanning said “all your individual amounts are fine but you have WAY too much in this one bag” and hands the bag to this other guy.  He takes me aside, asks me to knock it down by half and we’ll throw the stuff away, and I just go along knowing I couldn’t win even though this is literally all my toiletries for the whole trip because my bags are full of other stuff.  A nice older gentleman (that works there) walks over and says, “If there are any things in there for medicinal purposes, those don’t count.  May want to see what the bag looks like without them.”  So I start with things like eye drops and inhaler and he pulls out other stuff like Neosporin and Melaluca oil…then he starts grabbing the stuff I pulled out and starting putting it back in.  Needless to say, by the end of this fiasco, he has returned everything to the bag, hands it to me and says “that’s good.”  Say what???

Head to the lounge to relax and eat free food before we board.  A little concerned because no one has seen my carry-on bags yet and the rule for KLM is that they weight no more than 26lbs.  Welp, when you take a ton of stuff you want to fit in as much as possible.  This means packing everything for me in my carry-on only.  Plus more stuff for others.  So my rolly bag weighed more like 40lbs.  And my backpack at least 20.  Meh.  I held my breath as I boarded the plane and no one said a thing!  I was stunned and thankful.

Fast forward 7 hours and I land in Amsterdam.  It was really nice to walk and eat and rest.  I love Schipol airport and am grateful it’s Delta’s partner because it means I end up there about 4 times a year!  Oh those poffertjes…had a nice nap in the lounge and it was time to go again!  I get to the gate and got the pleasure of meeting a facebook friend in person for the first time!!  This is an awesome lady who runs a non-profit helping mothers in Uganda called Beauty for Ashes.  We hugged and chatted and I met her traveling crew and then it was time to board!  I find my seat, get everything settled and it’s time for takeoff…and no one is sitting next to me.  HOORAH!!  I had an 8 hour flight with no seat partner and man it went by so smoothly. 

As we arrived, we walked off the plane and saw everyone waiting to get on.  It started to hit me…this is where I left this all just 15 months ago.  There, in the window, stood a little boy, about the same age and size as Jonah when we were getting ready to depart.  I was so overcome by emotion.  So many things have transpired since we left here.  Yet I could see my little boy there so clearly, waiting to leave this beautiful country and trust us in this new place.  Whew!

All my bags arrived, Brandi’s crew helped me get my 3 big bags, my large carry-on and my back pack outside where the amazing Brian, my dear Ugandan friend and driver was there to meet me…and he brought friends too!  It was so great to see them. 

We set off on the few hour car ride from Entebbe to Jinja and I am impressed with how much they’ve improved Jinja road.  I was overjoyed as we crossed the Nile River and entered Jinja.  It was like coming home.  I remember all the sites and sounds (and horrible roads) so vividly and my heart was so full of joy. 

And, in true Ugandan style, as soon as we pulled up to the Sole Hope guest house, the power went out.

So thankful.

Right here, right now

Wow, how has it been so long?  It's not because I have had nothing to say, it's because what I have wanted to say is un-shareable.  I used to think that a blog was where you could go write and get things out but the reality is, for the love of people that I love or are supposed to love, that's not possible.

Here's what I can share.  My boys are awesome.  I am so thankful for my family.  My little ginger is the funniest, craziest little man and I adore him.  And then there's my Ugandan.  Oh, my dear Ugandan.  My words can never express the way that boy holds my heart.  The more his language explodes, the more we get to know his personality and the more and more I love him.  If that's possible.  Every day I look at him it makes me long for Uganda.

Let me explain.  Uganda is a place unlike any other I've been to.  The people are so different than us here.  We take so much for granted.  We expect that things will be a certain way or that we'll have access to certain things.  We expect that there will always be food, always be power, always be airtime on our phones...these expectations are not so there.  These and so much more.  So yes, the people are different, they see the world differently, in a way I only wish I could grasp once a day.

When I was in Uganda for our adoption, it took me a long time to adjust.  Some of that was the anxiety of just being there, some of it was the adoption itself, most of it was my expectations that I should have just checked at the door. I vowed when I came home to learn from those expectations and keep them checked, to value God's plan and His timing in whatever manner that presented itself.  I am failing.

Just this week I have experienced multiple instances of racism toward our family and my son.  Oh how it hurts my heart.  He has no idea any of this is happening...yet, but I know one day he will.  And he will wonder why his brother is treated differently by the world.  The reality is, this, like what I learned in Uganda, my own expectations need to get checked at the door.  Now, don't get me wrong, I will defend my son to the highest measure if needed, but these cases were not overt cases.  It's not like he didn't get a seat on the plane because he's black, we just got treated poorly with some very condescending looks.  Or hearing those broad, general statements some make about entire people groups.  Here's a tip, any time you are about to say "white people," "black people" "Ugandan people" etc. you may want to stop and rethink that statement.  No one people group should ever be generalized to that point.

Anyway, the whole point of this post wasn't to fight racism.  It was to share how we're doing.  How well Jonah is adjusting and how much like twins my boys have become.  How they long to be near each other even though they fight when they're together.  How amazing Jonah's language is developing and how our social worker is impressed with his progress!

But we're also struggling.  There are still attachment issues that we deal with.  We're growing and it's getting better, but we've still only had Jonah home with us for 8 months.  That's not a ton of time in the grand scheme of things!  We still have tantrums that are not your typical 2-3 year old tantrums.  They're getting better, but they still rear their ugly head and are very painful.  On top of that, the boys had just started getting excited about having a new baby brother or sister.  Unfortunately, at our 12 week appointment we found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat and had stopped growing between 10 and 11 weeks.

I don't say all this for your sympathy.  I love our family.  We are never guaranteed tomorrow.  So while I love my kids, we are not promised that we will get to see them grow into adults, get married, have kids, etc.  We were never told those expectations are realistic.  I cherish every day with my boys and my husband because we never know when it will be our last.  That is not living in fear but just in the moment.  That doesn't make the today's easier when we deal with racism or lose a baby, but it does make me check my expectations at the door and live right here, right now.

I get it, we're different.

I haven't posted in a while because once we actually got a court date in Uganda we went underground with our updates for our security and just general privacy about our case.  That being said, we are now home from Uganda with our little boy, Jonah, and are a happily transitioning family of four!  Part of that transition clearly includes the fact that Jonah is black and we're white (sshhhhh....don't tell anyone).  In our (short) time home we've already experienced the looks, the stares, the hush hush of comments, etc.  I'm ok with it.  We knew it was coming.  I don't think you can really prepare yourself for it but at least we had an awareness it would be there.

The first week we were home my husband and I took our new son to the school where my husband teaches. He works at a predominantly black middle school in a nearby city to ours.  After we visited his fellow teachers, we decided to go to Cookout (a fast food place) close to his school.  As we're sitting in the drive thru with the windows down I see the kid working the window turn around and say something to the girl to which she mouthed "black baby" with a shocked look on her face.  Now don't get me wrong, I get it.  This is not something you see everyday.  And we were in their neighborhood.  But from there she did everything she could to look and then found a reason to come to the window to ask us "would you like ketchup with your order" just so she could see for herself.  By no means does this upset me.  I just don't really want people taking turns looking and staring like we're a circus act. I get it, we're different.

My son is a minority.  Not only because of his skin color but because of the skin color of his parents.  He will have to deal with racism like I have never or will never experience.  He will have to deal with parents who he KNOWS doesn't understand the extent of what he's dealing with.  On top of that, he will have to deal with people continually questioning his family because he doesn't look like the rest of us.

Every white person in the world should have to go spend time in a place where they truly are the minority.  I know I didn't experience even a portion of what he will in his life.  But everyone should have to at least know what it feels like to be stared at because you're different, feel out of place because no one looks like you, feel like people are burning into you with their eyes wondering what you're doing there or if you just found yourself in the wrong place, feel like your safety is constantly in question because you don't know who you can and can't trust.

It's not like these are new concepts.  The fact that every time I question what we're watching on tv because there's no one in the sitcom/cartoon/movie that's black.  The fact that I am constantly thinking about if/when we move what school district we'll be in to ensure there is a diverse population.  The fact that regardless of who or what I thought about the Trayvon Martin case, a young black boy is dead.  I do want this responsibility and everything that comes with it.  These are things that SHOULD concern me because my son is black and I want the best for him.  But here's the thing.  Even if you're white.  Even if you don't have a black kid.  Even if you don't know one single person of another color in.this.whole.world.  These things should concern you too.

Expectations

I'm not entirely sure how I should be feeling?  Do you ever get this way?  When you think there's a "right" or "wrong" way to be feeling?  Should I be excited because the next time I fly it will most likely be going to Uganda?  Should I be terrified about the reality of having two little (2 year old) boys that are MINE?  Should I be "cherishing every moment" that our family is this perfect little unit (I'm using the term perfect loosely here, go with it)?

I just read a blog post about adoptive moms (you should read it here) and what stuck out most to me was the part about adoption not being pregnancy because there is no due date.  We knew we were in for a long process or we wouldn't have started it when our bio son was 6 months old.  And in reality, it has been about the length we could have expected.  But now, closer to the end, the waiting is excruciating.  And the hardest part is, there is no end in site.  Sure, we know that we "should" get a court date in the next month or so.  We "should" be traveling in the next few weeks/months.  We "should" be home with our son by Christmas.  But there are no certainties in this world except death (and taxes).

I'm not trying to be a downer by writing this post.  The reality is, I just finished a book called The Fault in Our Stars which, despite being about kids dying of cancer, is really a call to live.  When I get asked "are you excited?" or "I bet you just can't wait" I usually just smile and nod.  Because isn't it a given, when you seek out to adopt a child, that you are excited and looking forward to having them home with you?  The reality is, I live with a constant knot in the pit of my stomach.  The "what if's" are always looming in the back of my mind wondering if, in fact, I'll ever actually get to meet my son whom I love despite never having met him and, if I get to meet him, will I ever actually get to bring him home.

I get that there is no "right" way to feel.  The problem is, there are so few people in the world that can understand how I actually am feeling that it's easier just not to share it with anyone (or just the one or two that I know get it).

If I learned anything from life and grad school, I learned to state my expectations.  I am not implying that by stating them they will necessarily be met, but at least they will be out there for consumption.  I expect to hear of our court date in the next 2 weeks.  I expect to travel to Uganda in the next 60 days.  I expect to be in country for approximately 60 days.  I expect to get to travel during a similar (if not the same) time period as my dear friend also adopting.  I expect that my parents (this includes my in-laws) love us and our son so very much that they will care dearly and deeply for our Jack so he does not feel abandoned for the time we are away picking up his brother. I expect that my dear coworkers/friends who have been so supportive through this ordeal will step in and take care of things for me while I'm gone.  I expect that our church who has been so trusting and caring with our family will circle around us in our time of major transition.

The thing about expectations is, these will not all happen as I desire.  And yet, some of them have already begun to happen.  The thing about life is, I cannot plan it.  And yet, the life God has granted me is immeasurably greater than the life I expected. 

A long awaited blessing...

I have waited a long time to write this post.  And some would expect that it would be so filled with joy that you would want to gag!  Trust me, it is.  We are OVERJOYED to share with you that we have received a referral for a little boy!  He is just a bit younger than Jack which is what we requested but not by much!  In fact, we will be celebrating his birthday without him soon (but you can imagine what a birthday he will have once he gets here)!  I wish I could show you a picture of his beautiful face.  However, until we come home, we will call him baby J and I will not be sharing any pictures online.  I can tell you this, because of his age, we have decided to keep his given name (but it does work out well because it is a "J" name too)!  So we will not be calling him James as previously discussed, and you will hopefully learn his real name soon enough!

When I saw his face, I almost cried.  I couldn't believe it.  I think I was in shock.  We were actually out of town that weekend.  We were staying with friends, Jack was staying in the same room as us, and he hadn't slept well that night.  It was 5:30 in the morning and Jack was trying to crawl into bed with us...I was resisting this with all that was within me because I knew at that point it was all over and none of us were going back to sleep.  Since I felt this was inevitable, I grabbed my phone and took a look...and there it was.  An email from our point of contact with his beautiful picture, name, and a (small) snippet of information about him.

Ok, now I have shared my joy with you, but please, bear with me when I share the rest of my heart. Over the past year, our eyes have been opened to the joys and sorrows of international adoption and while we are ecstatic to have a referral, we ask that you pray harder now than ever.

As we've stated time and time again, our number one priority is the welfare of children, orphaned or otherwise.  In the US, there are pretty clear standards as to what makes a child "adoptable".  Not as much the case in many international countries...especially non-Hague countries.

We have received a referral directly from a babies home instead of from our agency.  We have chosen not to work with our former agency however we believe that agency is still amazing and working for the best interest of children in Uganda.  We did not choose to move forward with them for many reasons which I would be more than happy to discuss, but not in a blog.  Just note that we would be very happy to work with them again, and to recommend them to families looking to adopt in the future.  It's just not the route we are taking for us for now.

We have a referral.  But now is just the beginning.  The waiting will still continue and now is the waiting that is the scariest for me.  As a mother of a beautiful two year old ginger, I go through a range of emotions regarding adoption all together.  How difficult it must be to give up your child for adoption.  How you must run through a plethora of reasons and wonders as to the right decisions for your child.  So many coercive people and pressures in other countries.  The horror stories I've heard from other adoptive families.

Here's where we stand.  We are walking through the process with our babies home, our lawyer, and some amazing and supportive friends God has placed in our life (some of which who have or are going through this too).  We have been working to get everything together to submit for a court date.  This has included our lawyer in Uganda speaking to the living family members of the child referred to us.  At any point in time, if any one of those family members speaks up and says they want to care for the child, we will lose the referral.  Of course that would be heartbreaking, we already love this child and want him here with us.  Yet, while we are torn by our emotions, we would never want you to pray that his family doesn't want him.

Next we wait on a court date and once we know that, we know when we get to travel!!  I may or may not be writing between now and whenever we travel.  Communications at this point get iffy because in reality, this is not our child until we have legal guardianship in Uganda.  This means talking about him in any sense can put our case in jeopardy.  Once we travel we will be setting up another means of communication while we are in the country and at that point, if you are interested in getting our updates, I'll publish how people can contact us for access.

So hold on to your butts!  It's about to be a wild ride!!  We covet your thoughts and prayers!!

Please bear with us!

In an effort to not overshare, I haven't been writing at all.  It's killing me to not get to tell you what's going on in our lives with respect to our adoption.  Here's what we know....

There are so many children all over the world who need loving homes. There are so many ways to get involved on a local and international level!  In this country we are so rich and have so much to share.  So please do.  I don't mean just with us.  We have had amazing people share amazing things with us. And while we are still piecing our fundraising together, we have been overly blessed by God and our community.  We believe we will be as ready as we can be whenever we get word it's time to go.

Things are moving forward for us!!  If I can share that without telling you more, I hope you'll understand.  There are so many aspects to adoption and at this point in time, we are trying to respect the story of our future son.  So I promise you, when I can share, I will.  Until then, sit tight!  It may be sooner than you think :)

Hurry up and wait

I know, I know, it's been forever.  I'm sorry.  While there are things working together for progress, most of them I cannot share at this time.  My eyes are continually opened to the inner-workings of domestic and international adoption and it is pretty unbelievable sometimes.  We have been in this process for over 18 months and sometimes it feels like we've come so far and other times it seems like we haven't even moved at all!

What I can tell you about this process is how blessed we are with our community!  We have met and established some amazing adoption friends both local and national, some of which help me just get through the day!    In addition to the adoption community, we have been blessed by an amazing church community.  Over a year ago my husband established a guys group that has been so exciting to watch.  These guys have just begun to sharpen each other in ways I could have never imagined!  I am so thankful for these men who have committed themselves to the Lord and their families and I know lives are changing!  There's also our small group(s).  We were able to participate in an adoption small group and we still feel so much a part of the lives of those families who are adopting and fostering to adopt and I love to see how these families are growing.  And now we've got another group of amazing families, young and old, that are facing some immensely tough times in their lives and God has truly blessed us all by being a committed family and helping each other.  I don't know where we'd be without all these people in our lives.  The waiting can be so agonizing but we press on toward the goal!

I have been reading David Platt lately (almost done with Radical, moving on to Follow Me) and it has been a great challenge.  And what I keep hearing God say (in SO may ways) is that we have been following and now we need to stay on the course and stay put.  So many times we see what we're supposed to do and try to make it happen ourselves.  I think "ok God, you've shown me the way, now I'll go ahead and get there of my own accord."  What nonsense!  And yet, my selfish, controlling spirit takes over.  We have known for a long time we are called to adopt from Uganda.  We have done everything we can to move on this calling and now we continue to wait.  Thankfully, we know this is not for nothing!!

Thanks so much to so many of you who continue to pray for us, for the orphans of the world, and for where God will be taking us after our adoption is complete.  Please keep praying in our waiting!

Isaiah 40:30-31 - Even youths will faint and be weary, and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Psalm 27:14 - Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Lam 3:25 - The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks Him.


Micah 7:7 - Therefore I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will
hear me.

Hosea 12:6 - So you, by the help of your God, return; observe mercy and justice, and wait on your
God continually.

Thank you, Jesus, for blue

Every morning I take my (almost) 2 year old to his grandfather's ("Ho-Ho") house where he goes for childcare (have I expressed how blessed we are to get to do this?). We have about a 15 minute drive and during this time we usually sing songs and talk to Jesus.  Of course, my son is very young but one of our desires is to show him that God isn't this far away being that has nothing to do with us but that we can have a personal relationship with him and that he loves us very much.  With us, having a relationship means talking like normal people do to each other.

This morning as we're driving to Ho-ho's, I said "do you want to talk to Jesus?" to which he replied "yeah" (don't be impressed, he'd tell you he likes to eat elephant poop if you frame it correctly).  So we start talking with a "Hey God, hope you are well today."  I then went through a few things I was thankful for, prayed for our friend with leukemia, and asked him what he was thankful for, to which he emphatically replied "BLUE!"  I laughed out loud.  But then I stopped and thought about his answer.  My son, my amazing little boy, is thankful for the color blue.  So many times I am overwhelmed with things going on with life...especially right now.  Work is crazy, our adoption feels like it's stagnant, I'm getting ready to travel, going out of town this weekend for a wedding, life is just happening.

And yet, in the midst of it all, my son reminded me of why Jesus loved the little children so much.  Why he chose to be around them any chance he got.  He knew that those little children had a perspective on life that we adults forget quite often.  What if we didn't have the color blue?  What if we didn't have any colors at all?  What would my world look like without it?  My son's beautiful eyes, the sky on a sunny day, my favorite color in the world...everything would be different.  So thank you, Jack, for reminding me that no matter what's going on and how crazy things may seem, I can always find something to be thankful for.  Today, it's the color blue.

This water is fertile - and what's going on in Uganda?

When I started writing this it was only going to be about the first part of the blog but boy did it take a turn - hence the two names.  Sorry it's so long but it really is some vital information!!!
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There are pregnant women coming out of the woodwork!!  I can think of at least seven ELEVEN people just off the top of my head that are expecting all due between June and October.  Babies, babies everywhere!!  Except here.  Ugh, I have seen so many people get pregnant and have babies in the time that we have been through this wait...and there's no certainty on the length to come.  Please don't hear this as a complaint.  We are so extremely ecstatic at our friends who are having babies!  We love these people and their families and love to see God blessing them with beautiful children.  But that doesn't make the wait any easier.  And sometimes I question just expanding our family that way which is completely feasible.

We know we are supposed to be adopting in Uganda.  That is clear.  And for us to rush anything or get pregnant would just be selfish at this point in time.  Please keep us in your hearts and prayers as we do make some big decisions about the details of our adoption.  Please know that as soon as we can share any details with you we will!!

In the meantime, let me talk about a few things that are on our hearts right now.  I know I have said it before but I want to reiterate it here:

Our number one goal for the orphaned children of Uganda (and really every country) is that, if possible, they would be reunified with their family.  We would not go to poverty stricken rural America or the inner cities and say "you are so poor you do not deserve to have children."  Poverty should NOT be a reason for these international adoptions.  If we really want to help the poverty stricken, we should be engaging in the communities to help the families find ways to generate income to be able to keep their families together.  There are some great organizations in Uganda attempting to do as such and help rebuild lives and families.  There may be a (temporary) time when these families need others to care for and educate their children while they get back on their feet however, international adoption should not be the answer for these children.

Our second goal for the orphaned children of Uganda (and every country) is that, if possible, they stay in Uganda.  While there is much poverty and high birth rates to families, there are still opportunities for children to be in foster homes and families (their own extended family or otherwise) who will ultimately love and care for these children in their country of origin.

Finally, and only after these other two options have been fully exhausted, should international adoption be considered.  Of course there are needs for children in Uganda and elsewhere in the world (including the US) to be in families because no one else can or will take them.  These children should absolutely be allowed to be placed with families who love them and want them as their own.

It is imperative to us that we make these things known in our community and in that of the international adoption communities.  Far too often parents set out with good intentions but also some selfish ambition.  We were very naive when we started this process because we always hear about how many orphans are in the world.  And there are!!!  Please don't hear me say there isn't a need and a place for adoption (international or otherwise).  But we have been charged with the knowledge that human trafficking can be conducted under the auspice of international adoption.  And some times without the adoptive parents even knowing it.  There are so many stories I could tell you about these types of situations but they are not my stories to tell.  Yet the more we sit idle or turn a blind eye to these situations, the more it will continue to happen.

If you have any questions regarding anything I've said here, please feel free to contact me offline.  I'd love to talk more about any aspect of this.  And if you're reading this and just wading in the waters of international adoption, please look at this with open eyes and hearts and ASK QUESTIONS!!!

There are also organizations focused on the things I discussed above that would love to have the assistance of those outside of Uganda.  One that we have started to learn about recently is called Arise and Shine Uganda.  The founder of this is a Uganda woman whose goals are very much in alignment with the things I mentioned above.  You should check it out (www.ariseandshineuganda.com)!

What this has done for us is made us realize one thing.  Adoption is very important (we kinda already knew that).  But adoption is only treating a symptom of the bigger problem.  We are called not only to help the widows and orphans but also to build strong families and better communities.  So it is our intention to not only adopt in Uganda but also to come alongside those who are doing the work in building families and communities to help treat the real problem.  And ultimately, the better we get with that, the less need for adoption there will be, and that, my friends, is really our hope.

still waiting

It's not that I haven't wanted to write lately, it's that we're at a strange place in our process where all the details cannot be shared.  And, unfortunately, in an effort to keep from oversharing, I've just stayed away from writing.  This is difficult for me because there is a huge aspect of this that is very cathartic for me.  Just know that we are moving.  I don't know if forward is how I would put the movement but it is clear that God is at work. I just wanted to write something so if you came to see us on our blog you didn't think we were lost...no, we're very found.  But the facts are this.  We are #16 on the list for the Feb report.  And to be honest, I don't know that that will change for March.  Our agency has not had a referral in 4 months.  And we are frustrated with the wait but we know that the way things are going, God can do amazing things!!

The bitter with the sweet

When "the list" comes out every month I usually try to forget it's the first week of the month and ignore my email.  Most of what I get in my gmail is junk or advertisements so it's not difficult for me to do.  But for some reason, this week was different.  Maybe because I have the expectation that we'll meet our little boy this year.  Maybe it's because I see how much Jack changes every day and it makes me that much more ready to have our little one with us so we don't miss a moment.  Whatever the reason, I waited anxiously this week.

In fact, I watched my phone almost hourly during working hours to see if anything had "popped" in.  I thought at about noon today that maybe it wasn't coming until next week since it was already late on Friday.  My heart sank every time something else hit the new mail list and it wasn't from our agency.  But finally, as promised, we got the email.

And it is something to rejoice about.  It is!  But we have to take the sweet with a little bitter.  The sweetness is that we have moved up to #16 on the list!  That is very exciting!  And the truth is, as I have stated before, we could be called at any time with a referral.  But the reality is, that is not likely to happen.  That's where the bitter comes in.  Not only were there no referrals in the last month, but the timeline (which was 6-8 months when we started this journey) is now 15-18 months for a referral.  We started on the waiting list last April which means it could be October before we get a referral!  And that's assuming the timeline doesn't get extended anymore.  And then getting a court date takes another few months.  So while I started the year thinking we would have our little one here by Christmas, that may not be the case.  Despite my frustration, I think what is really weighing on my heart is that the only thing that's holding up this process is bureaucracy.  It's not that the number of kids that need family has diminished, no, it's just one more step in the process added which means the number of children waiting is, if anything, increasing.

I know I've said a million times that I am glad they go through the steps they do to ensure all these children cannot find homes in the country or with family members.  And I am happy for that because it is the ultimate goal.  But that doesn't make the wait any easier.

So we take the bitter with the sweet, remember that we're #16, and pray for patience and stamina in the waiting.  God's timing is perfect!

Welcome to 2013 and all it may bring

This last year has been filled with amazing blessings for our family.  The spring semester allowed my husband to stop working in the restaurant world and work full time as a teacher.  He was blessed with a great job and is seeing his passion come to fruition by impacting the lives of young people. We saw Jack turn one this year and have enjoyed watching him grow and change and learn every day. We've watched him learn to walk, talk, and his personality develop into a vibrant, hilarious, little boy. As usual, I got to travel this year to multiple international places for work. Since our family has grown, it has become more emotionally difficult for me to travel internationally.  However, this year brought two amazing trips for me! In August I got to go to Italy and Paris with my sister, Sita.  Never in a million years did I think this trip possible and it was so fun! It brought us so much closer and just makes me long to live near her family.  In September I got to go to Japan with my Aunt Lynn.  Again, never did I think this trip would happen but it was such a blessing to me and was a true emotional rejuvenation!  I feel so blessed to have these women in my life and am over the moon to have had these experiences with them.

2012 allowed us many travels near and far, time with family and friends, some beautiful weddings of dear friends, new beautiful babies of dear friends, birthdays, anniversaries...overall a pretty amazing year of life.

With our adoption in 2012, we finalized our homestudy, received our immigration approval, and landed on the waiting list.  We ended 2012 at #18 on the list and, given the current timelines, are hoping to see a referral between April and July.  Four months seems so close but seven seems so far!  We believe our little boy, James, was born in 2012 and we are praying we get to have him in our arms in 2013.  We do not know what the future holds and we know there is a risk in every step of life, but this risk is well worth taking.

I hope and pray that by the time I write this post next year I get to tell you about our amazing trip to Uganda, and our beautiful family with our two little boys, Jack and James.  But I only know for certain what is today, and I want to live each one as it comes.  At the same time, I look forward to the future when our baby boy will be home and our family will be closer to completion.  I am reminded of Hebrews 11:1 which says "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Hope your new year is filled with love, joy, and many blessings!