Get your passports ready!

I cannot even begin to tell you how long I have waited to write this blog post.  The last 8 months have been a true test of our trust in our marriage, in our family, and in our God.  This is quite an in-depth story but I promise to keep it as short as possible.  But here it is, the BLUF...the Morgans are moving to London!  Yes, you read that correctly, we are heading across the pond for a few years!

It all began last summer when we knew something was changing.  Our contentment with where we were was wavering and we prayed frivolously for what that meant or looked like.  Justin spent time in Uganda in August (2014) and when he came home, we started to feel a call elsewhere, Uganda being one possibility.  Soon after, I caught wind of a job opportunity for me in London.  All the while, Justin had been feeling a tug on his heart to go get his PhD.  All these things, all these different directions, where in the world were we going to go?  So we did the only thing we could do...we started praying and pushing on doors.  We knew that some doors would ultimately close and others would be opened and we decided we would just walk through whatever opened for us.

In September, we began talking to some friends in Uganda about a possible move there, Justin began applying for PhD programs, and I waited patiently (not really) for the London job to open up for me to apply.  In the meantime, we both continued in our jobs.  At that time, I was certain that Uganda was the right place for our family.  I traveled as usual for work, found out we were going to have a baby, and the boys continued in school.  Come January, I had the opportunity to go back to Uganda for a visit and to see more of what it would look like for us to be there.  It was such an amazing trip and yet there was something in me that wasn't certain our family was ready for that at this point in time.  We had had some set backs with our little man and I was very fearful of what taking him back to Uganda indefinitely would do to his little self.  A short time after I came home, we still didn't feel clear on Uganda, the job req still wasn't open, and Justin had heard from zero schools, one way or the other.  And I was pretty done (not to mention 20 weeks pregnant).  So we decided to fast.

It was a crazy, difficult, amazing week but by the end of it, we definitely had some clarity.  In that time we heard back from schools Justin had applied to, I got an interview for the job, and we felt a peace about Uganda.  By Friday we knew that London was our first choice and UW Madison was our second choice (Justin had received his acceptance letter earlier in the week).  They were both amazing choices and we were happy with both options but the rest was up to me getting the job in London.

There are so many more details in the weeds of this story and if you want to have coffee or a Skype date sometime, I'd love to share them!!  Suffice to say, I have received a job offer for the job in London and our family will be moving in August to live in the UK for the next 3-5 years!!

It is scary and exciting and the timing seems nutso!  This summer we will have a baby, sell our house, move to the UK, start a new job, so.many.new.things!!  We are not naive that we have a tough transition ahead of us but we're so excited for the adventure and the opportunity for our family!  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we move into this new phase and stay tuned for the craziness that is moving your family of five across the world! 

I look at all the lonely people

When I was single, I went through major bouts of loneliness.  I had great friends around me and despite a variety of different jobs and situations, churches, community, and all the "things" I could ever want to buy, I was lonely.  My heart would long for "the one" thinking that if I just met the right guy I wouldn't be lonely anymore.  Being single, especially in your thirties, is a very difficult place to be.  If you know anyone in that stage of life, please be very kind to them and surround them with every ounce of support you can imagine.  (This does NOT mean ask them if they've met someone every time you see them).

And then, I did meet "the one."  And it is great!  All those times I thought "I wish I had someone to eat dinner with" or "I wish I had someone to run errands with" was now a non-issue.  And of course, I thought my loneliness would go away.  I was wrong.  Now before you read into this, please understand that my husband is awesome and we have a great relationship.  This is not a marriage issue.  But what I'm finding is that there are MANY women like me who think that marriage will solve their loneliness issues and some get married solely for this reason.  If you think that is the case, you are sorely mistaken.  In fact, if this is why you're getting married, then it may be time to reevaluate.

Marriage does not solve loneliness.  And let me dispel another myth.  Kids do NOT solve loneliness...if anything, they make it worse.  Again, I love my son and am excited for our next child to join our family.  I wouldn't give up my family for anything.  But these issues are not related unless you use one to try and fix the other.  When you have kids, you become even more isolated.  You have way less time to spend with your friends and some people you thought were your friends seem to disappear or just distance themselves because they're not willing to do the work to make the friendship adapt to your new situations.  Your kids take priority in your life which means your friendships take a far backseat to your family which means your friendships tend to suffer.

I have a dear friend whom I adore that I spoke to about this today.  She and her husband have an adult child that doesn't live at home.  She told me she and her husband sit at home most weekends because many people believe they are busy so they don't ask them to do anything.  And then, when they see that other people did stuff their feelings are hurt and don't understand why they weren't invited.  MAN I can relate to this!!  Can you?

Why am I talking about this?  Because when we're lonely, we feel alone, isolated.  And yet, I believe that there are MANY people out there (especially women) who are dealing with this loneliness.  We feel like if we tell anyone about it then we sound weak, needy, and undesirable as a friend.  But if we all feel this way from time to time (or much of the time) then we NEED to talk about it!

I am a working mother that travels a lot, especially in the fall.  This pushes me further and further away from people and results in me feeling isolated.  Then I see all the things I perceive people doing together (and not inviting me) and I think they don't want me around.  This isolates me even further.  Then I don't ask people to hang out because I perceive they "don't like me" or "don't want to hang out with me."  Which makes me even more isolated.  As you can see, this cycle only continues in a downward spiral.

For some this spiral leads to depression.  This was me at one time.  Thankfully I have learned to combat that and know where/when to raise the red flag.  But I have a great deal of compassion for those that aren't able to beat that on their own and hope, if this is you, you will seek help.  For some this spiral leads to negative behaviors whether it be seeking bad relationships or leaning on other methods of numbing your feelings.

Regardless of your position in life, loneliness is something we all deal with.  And it is nothing that any one individual can "fix" for you.  But maybe if more of us talked about how lonely we feel, we wouldn't feel so alone!

Psalm 68:6 "God sets the lonely in families..."  Praying my little James isn't lonely tonight.